Top Of My Head

Thoughts on everything from Politics to Video Games

Tag: lesbian

We were married!!!

Giving Cheryl her ring

Photo courtesy of “Loki” David Lott

On November 14th, just after 7PM, Cheryl and I did what thousands of couples before us have done – we were legally married.  We’ve been together for nearly 19 years and it has been an amazing ride.  We’ve gone through home ownership, trying to have children, having grandchildren and more.  Our journey isn’t ending, but this new beginning is, well, just something.

I honestly didn’t think that when I awoke on the morning of November 15th that I would feel any different.  After all, Cheryl and I had married in 2001 in a ceremony complete with gowns, unity candle and the breaking of the glass.  I have considered myself married for the last thirteen years.  How can a piece of paper make that much of a difference?

Lighting the Unity Candle on April 28, 2001 - our first wedding. (Look how young I was!)

April 28, 2001 – our first wedding.

Well, it does.  I feel closer to Cheryl, more involved, safer.  I know that my family would never be the kind that would toss her out on her ear if something would happen to me and I’m pretty sure her family wouldn’t do that to me,.  But, I’ve been kept out of her hospital room (not for long) and a nurse did tell me that I wasn’t Tommy’s grandmother, so I wouldn’t be able to be in his room.  No one will ever be able to tell me that again.

Cheryl’s daughter, Kim, has always treated me as a true step-parent.  She’s always respected our relationship and I’ve always treated her like a daughter. Dustin took a little time to warm up – accepting your wife’s family can be

Listening to Pastor Dana

overwhelming – but he’s always called my parents grandma and grandpa and he’s been a pall bearer for my family, I think more times than for his own.  His acceptance of Cheryl and I extended to his family.  Having all of them be a part of our wedding day was amazing.

The outpouring of love from friends and family was amazing.  Having our relationship be recognized by the state, as well as people close to us is an indescribable joy.  I can’t wait for the whole country to come to their senses and legalize gay marriage.

Our first official introduction as Julie and Cheryl Totsch

Photo courtesy of “Loki” David Lott

 

Marriage Equality

Going to the Chapel and we’re gonna get married…

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard that the Supreme Court refused to hear the appeal cases for Wisconsin, Oklahoma, Utah, Virginia and Indiana.  This means that marriage equality in those states have won.  Virginia has already changed their forms.

This morning at around 11:30, I called the Racine County Clerk’s Office and spoke with Pat. She very sweetly informed me that yes, they were issuing marriage licenses to gay couples.  I cried.

I’m really torn and stunned by this.  I’ve overjoyed that Cheryl and I can now make it legal, but I wish my mom was still here.

For a very long time, my mother was against gay marriage.  We went round and round.  Then, one day, I either explained it better or she just gave up the fight, because she agreed with me.  For the rest of her life, at least once a month, she would say to me, “Why don’t they just let you get married?”

Now, they are letting us get married and she’s not here to see it.  In the year and four months, since she’s been gone, I don’t think I’ve missed her more.

So, now, Cheryl and I have to pick a date.  I think we’ve narrowed it down to two.  🙂

 

Gay Marriage Rights…

‎”Marriage is a tax shelter and a smart way for a couple to combine assets. Love is the thing that’s sacrosanct. The sooner we understand the difference, the sooner we’ll understand why Kim Kardashian’s wedding was never holy, and why countless gay couples around the United States who love each other despite marriage bans are truly righteous.” – Cord Jefferson

Lesbian Bloggers

If you’ve been paying any attention to the news in the blogsphere the last couple of days, you couldn’t miss the shameful truth. The missing gay girl was really a healthy man. This morning I saw a headline that another lesbian blogger was revealed to be a man. So, in the interest of full disclosure, I have an announcement to make:

I am a lesbian, Christian, loud mouth, political junkie, college educated, SQL Developing grandmother to five beautiful boys woman who lives in Racine, WI. The only men I sleep with are two male cats and a fluffy white dog. I am faithful to my wife of ten years and if you find a picture of me naked on the web, it means my father is posting my baby pictures.

Whew! I’m glad I finally got that off my chest.

Have a good day.

Posted from WordPress for Android

Quick Thoughts

Here’s some quick thoughts:

  1. The border between Israel and Pakistan should go back to the 1967 measurement.
  2. We should cut the $3 billion in aid to Pakistan TODAY.  Enough is enough.  They aren’t our friends and we should not be supporting their army.  $3 billion could do a lot of good in our OWN country.
  3. Speaking of domestic spending, our infrastructure is in need of a trillion dollars in repair.  If we concentrate on home projects, maybe we can get the economy back on track.
  4. Obama didn’t cause the economic crisis.  The stimulus has been helping the economy, but companies are making record high profits and not hiring people.  That’s (part) of the reason the recovery is so slow.
  5. Social Security can be saved and it isn’t broke.  Republicans want you to think the system is broke.  Fact is the surplus is in Treasury Bonds which are all coming due.  If people paid in on the whole salary, it would go a long way to pushing up Social Security’s solvency.  There’s more to it, but don’t be fooled by the doomsayers.
  6. We need to stop covering non-news in this country, but it won’t happen because crap sells.  I don’t care if the man sent an indecent picture of himself, as long as it wasn’t to a child.  I don’t care if the woman doesn’t really understand the ride of Paul Revere.  Neither of these things will bring jobs to our country. Covering this crap is just taking away from the real issues.
  7. And, finally, attacking gays and lesbians is NOT going to improve the economy.  It won’t fix Social Security.  GOP stop bringing it up.  We pay taxes, we serve in the military and we love our country.  We SHOULD NOT be treated unequally.  And, YOU should be more worried about what needs to be fixed that with whom I am sleeping.

Customer’s Turned Away From Bakery – for being GAY?

Just Cookies, which operates in a City run market in Indiana, turned away a gay student group that wanted to purchase rainbow cupcakes for a National Coming Out Day party.  The owner citied that the company is family owned business and that they have “two young, impressionable daughters and we thought that maybe it would be best not to do that.”

Okay, on one hand, I see a business owner turning away customers and that is his right.  If he wants to lose business because of his own morals – what’s the big deal?

On the other hand, I think if you’re in a city-run market space, then you’ve given up the right to discriminate against a customer because you don’t hold their beliefs.  Would the city tolerate a Christian business owner turning away customers because they want a Star of David on their cupcakes?

Finally, I think the business owner did more harm than good to his business.  Turning away this student group has brought him the kind of publicity that, in this economy, will do him more harm than good.  Did he really need people to know his own anti-gay beliefs?  He might have gay customers or gay-friendly customers that will no longer shop at his bakery.

For example, I love the kringle from O&H Bakery here in Racine.  I purchase it once every 13 weeks to bring to work on my treat day.  I spend around $30.00.  As far as I know, O&H Bakery is family owned and operated.  But, if they turned away a student group wanting rainbow cupcakes, I would switch to a different bakery or find something else to bring in on treat day.  Sure, they’d only lose $120.00 per year, but if other gay people did the same thing, that might add up to thousands of dollars.

I believe this business owner has made a huge mistake in order to keep to his own moral standard.

See the video here.
 

Lesbian home destroyed – Arson Suspected

I found this on the AMERICAbloy Gay.  A home belonging to a lesbian couple was burned to the ground.  Carol Ann and Laura Stutte love the area, but do not plan on rebuilding there.  John Aravosis, “It will be interesting to see if the administration helps.”  But, I think he’s wrong.  Equality for gays and lesbians won’t happen because a Democratic President calls for it.  It will happen when neighbors start watching out for each other.

I blame the whole thing on the people who live in that neighborhood.  Maybe if they had reacted and called the cops when the couple’s garage was being spray painted with “Queers”, a house burning wouldn’t have happened.

On the other hand, that’s pretty much what you can expect when you’re gay and you live below the mason dixon line.  Nothing but haters down there.  Might be a few good ones, but I promise you — I will never live in the south.  No one can ever convince me that the uneducated, backward masses do not outnumber the people who are goodhearted, educated people.

Women become lesbians because they can’t get men

That is what Elizabeth Hasselbeck said yesterday on the View.  She isn’t alone in suggesting this, as Barbara Walters briefly suggested something similar on the View (You can find it on YouTube about 3 minute in) back on March 27, 2009.  She said, “Maybe it is easier for two women to find a relationship than to find a man.”  The statement was practically ignored by her co-hosts.  But, understandably, she is Barbara Walters, it’s her show and who is going to call her on it.

I will give Barbara a pass on this, as she does come from a different generation and she didn’t say, “Older men are going for younger women, leaving the older women with no one”, which I found completely offensive.  In her defense, she didn’t actually say these late blooming lesbians couldn’t get a man, she just mentioned that the men are looking elsewhere.

Still, I couldn’t help myself and I posted a new video making fun of Elizabeth’s little slip.  You can view it here.

Living the Straight Life

This week, I read a quick post somewhere that mentioned how gays are always shoving their lifestyles down straights’ throats.  And, I thought about it for a little while and it dawned on me that the writer must not realize how “straight” the world is.
When I mention that I’m married, to someone I’ve just met, they usually ask me about my husband. Most people do a double take when I mention that I have a wife. 
Recently, when I filled out an online form for work, I entered Cheryl as my spouse.  The system filled in her sex as male.  HR had to fix it.  A computer system assumed that I was straight.
We get phone calls asking for one of us that the other will take, when I say Mrs. _______ isn’t here, I’m asked if the caller could speak to Mr. ______.   From insurance forms to phone calls and even those dreaded taxes, as a gay person, I’m constantly reminded that the world is geared for straight people.
This isn’t a complaint, I get it.  There’s more straights than gays.  It’s like being left handed.  I read somewhere that 10% of the population is left handed.  The world is geared for right handed people.
But, no one tells someone who is left handed that they are shoving their lifestyle down a right handed person’s throat.
Gays are 10% of the population, why is it when we want to be treated as full members of American society, we’re shoving our lifestyle down society’s throat?
I don’t have an answer.  I just don’t.  I just live in a straight world.  It’s getting better, but we could improve it.

American Girl

Sometimes, I just wonder what the wrong wing is thinking. The American Family Association (who has 2.2 million members) has called for a boycott of the American Girl stores.
What? you say. Why?

Glad you asked.

Apparently, the American Girl stores support a group called Girls, Inc. According to the American Family Association, Girls, Inc. supports abortion rights and lesbians. Now, I checked out their website and I didn’t see anything that resembles support for either abortion rights or lesbians.

You can learn more about it here: http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2005/10/18/83839/064

So, I travelled to the Girls, Inc. site and donated some money. Not a lot, but some. Any group that has a mission to help girls with math skills and self-esteem is on the right track.

Oh, BTW, I’ve decided to try out the software at Blogger.com. I’m not sure if this’ll work being hosted on my own site or not, so please, let me know what you think.

God Bless,

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