Top Of My Head

Thoughts on everything from Politics to Video Games

Tag: Gay Rights (page 1 of 3)

We were married!!!

Giving Cheryl her ring

Photo courtesy of “Loki” David Lott

On November 14th, just after 7PM, Cheryl and I did what thousands of couples before us have done – we were legally married.  We’ve been together for nearly 19 years and it has been an amazing ride.  We’ve gone through home ownership, trying to have children, having grandchildren and more.  Our journey isn’t ending, but this new beginning is, well, just something.

I honestly didn’t think that when I awoke on the morning of November 15th that I would feel any different.  After all, Cheryl and I had married in 2001 in a ceremony complete with gowns, unity candle and the breaking of the glass.  I have considered myself married for the last thirteen years.  How can a piece of paper make that much of a difference?

Lighting the Unity Candle on April 28, 2001 - our first wedding. (Look how young I was!)

April 28, 2001 – our first wedding.

Well, it does.  I feel closer to Cheryl, more involved, safer.  I know that my family would never be the kind that would toss her out on her ear if something would happen to me and I’m pretty sure her family wouldn’t do that to me,.  But, I’ve been kept out of her hospital room (not for long) and a nurse did tell me that I wasn’t Tommy’s grandmother, so I wouldn’t be able to be in his room.  No one will ever be able to tell me that again.

Cheryl’s daughter, Kim, has always treated me as a true step-parent.  She’s always respected our relationship and I’ve always treated her like a daughter. Dustin took a little time to warm up – accepting your wife’s family can be

Listening to Pastor Dana

overwhelming – but he’s always called my parents grandma and grandpa and he’s been a pall bearer for my family, I think more times than for his own.  His acceptance of Cheryl and I extended to his family.  Having all of them be a part of our wedding day was amazing.

The outpouring of love from friends and family was amazing.  Having our relationship be recognized by the state, as well as people close to us is an indescribable joy.  I can’t wait for the whole country to come to their senses and legalize gay marriage.

Our first official introduction as Julie and Cheryl Totsch

Photo courtesy of “Loki” David Lott

 

An Open Letter to My Fellow Gays

Dear Gay People of America;

I know that while we have been busy trying to secure our rights as human beings in America, Russia’s “President” (or, as I call him, Head Thug) has trampled all over gay people’s human rights.  Putin is threatening to arrest gay foreigners.

And, we’re not that far off from the Olympics being held in Russia come next February.  You would think the man would have better sense.  I believe all leaders of the free world should denounce the Thug’s actions.  We should boycott Russia Vodka, caviar and any other products they export.  We shouldn’t vacation there or do business with them until they grant the same freedoms to all of their citizens – not just the straight ones.

Yes, we should.  Yes, we can.  And, yes, we will.

But, let’s not cause any trouble at the Olympics.

Please.

The Olympics are not supposed to be political.  Let me repeat that:  The Olympics are not supposed to be political.  The Olympics is when all nations send their best athletes to compete in sports most of the rest of us pay no attention to during the time between Olympic games.  (Or, maybe, it’s just us Americans and maybe just some sports.

Still, let’s not get carried away and boycott the Olympics.  Let’s not ask our leaders to do so.

Despite what Senator Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) thinks, boycotting the Olympics is wrong. It was wrong in 1980 when Carter did it (to protest Russia’s invasion of Afghanistan). It was wrong when Russia and other Communist countries did it in 1984. It would be wrong if we did it to appeal for Gay Rights or if we did it because Russia is letting Edward Snowden stay in their country, as Senator Graham wants done.

No politics at the Olympics.

Russia sucks.  Russia has sucked for quite a while.  They treat their citizens like crap.  They treat their parentless children like crap.  What do you expect?  That thug – Vladimir Putin – will always be nothing but a thug.  We should oppose him and thugs like him at every single turn – but not during the Olympics.

Hell, we didn’t even boycott Hitler’s Olympics.  We sent Jessie Owens over there and proved that race had nothing to do with ability.  (Although, we did leave with less medals.)

Let’s kick Russia’s butt in the Winter Olympics in 2014.

That’s better than any protest or boycott.

God Bless our American Athletes!  They rock and we should support them and allow them to compete on the world stage.

Indiana’s Unconstitutional Anti-Gay Law

According to Indiana law, which will take affect next July 1st, breaks the separation of church and state in a manner that is shocking:

IC 31-11-11-5
Solemnization of marriage in violation of this article
 Sec. 5. A person who:
(1) is authorized to solemnize marriages by IC 31-11-6; and
(2) solemnizes a marriage in violation of this article;
commits a Class C infraction.
As added by P.L.1-1997, SEC.3.

In other words, if you are legally capable of performing marriages in the State of Indiana and you perform a gay marriage, you commit a Class C infraction (“A person who commits a Class C misdemeanor shall be imprisoned for a fixed term of not more than sixty (60) days; in addition, he may be fined not more than five hundred dollars.*“)  Really? And, two sections down, there’s this:

IC 31-11-11-7
Solemnization of marriage between persons prohibited from marrying
Sec. 7. A person who knowingly solemnizes a marriage of individuals who are prohibited from marrying by IC 31-11-1 commits a Class B misdemeanor.
As added by P.L.1-1997, SEC.3.

If you perform a gay marriage, you commit a Class B misdemeanor, which can result in 180 days in jail and a $1000 fine*. I’d like to mention that this is not only against the Constitution of the United States of America – it is, also, hypocritical. One of the right-wing arguments against gay marriage is that it is against their religion (which isn’t true).  But, if they believe in religious freedom, how can they possibly support a law that restricts religious freedom?

Oh, who am I kidding?  Anti-Gay people would give up their own freedom in order to harm gay people.  They’re truly crazy!

So Called Christian Right

So, you joined a group that is fighting for freedom, but all it’s really doing is fighting gay marriage.  And, you vote for a politician because he believes in unfunding Planned Parenthood, again while claiming to be something you’re not – Christian.  You claim that you’re following Jesus, but you vote for politicians who want to make it harder to become a US citizen.  You claim to follow the Constitution, but you want to impose YOUR religious beliefs on the rest of us.

Sad, really.  The whole Taxed Enough Already crowd is full of hypocrites.  The Constitution supports the separation of church and state.  And, no matter how many times some wrong wing person wants to proclaim that we are a Christian nation, we’re not.  This isn’t a “Christian” nation and we weren’t founded on the Christian religion.  We even put that fact in a treaty in 1797.

As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Mussulmen; and, as the said States never entered into any war, or act of hostility against any Mahometan nation, it is declared by the parties, that no pretext arising from religious opinions, shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries. ~ Article 11 Treaty of Tripoli

There are groups who dispute the Treaty of Tripoli.  They claim that George Washington never saw it, even though it was written during his administration, and when the Senate heard it Article 11 wasn’t there.  Sigh – sad, isn’t it?

Moving on to the whole point of this which is this: Stop being a hypocrite.  Stop supporting politicians who would rather give a tax break to a billionaire, than feed hungry school children.  If you want to show your love for Christ, then follow what He preached:

When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.”

Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?” The King will reply, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” Matthew 25:31-40

Everytime a program that feeds the poor or clothes them – offers health care to them or just gives them a hand to help them help themselves is knocked down or cut by a politican, our country moves from Jesus’s right hand to His left hand. We move from being one of His sheep to being one of His goats. And, we all know how that story ended, right?

Then he will say to those on his left, “Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.”
They also will answer, “Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?”
He will reply, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.”
Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life. Matthew 25:41-46

I can hear the unrighteous (the ones who think they are righteous) speaking now, “But, I give to charity, so I’m good. We can’t have the government spending that money.” Oh, no? We can’t have the government taking our taxes, which is our money, and giving it to the poor? We can’t have that, but we can use religion to justify your hatred of gays? We can use religion to justify control of what a woman can or cannot do with her own body? We can use religion to go to war? We will vote for a politican who will give that money – our money – to an oil company in the form of a subsidy? But, we can’t take care of the least of us, which Jesus actually commanded?

If you don’t agree with gay marriage, fine – you have the right to your opinion.  If you don’t believe in a woman’s right to choose, fine – you have a right to that opinion, too.  But, don’t claim that your love of Jesus is why you don’t believe in the freedom of others, because you’re full of crap.  I know it and He knows it.

Gay Marriage: The Real Inequality

Last week, the US Supreme Court ruled that DOMA was unconstitutional.  That means that gay people in states that recognize or have gay marriage will have their marriages recognized.  This is good – for them.

For those of us who are gay, in non-legally recognized marriages and living in the wrong states, nothing has changed.  We still do not have the right to inheritance, hospital visitations and joint income tax returns.  It, also, means we don’t have the responsibilities and protections that marriage offers.

There are legal ways around this.  My wife and I have registered as Domestic Partners, so we have some of these rights.  And, prior to Domestic Partnerships being legal in my state, we had signed power of attorneys for health and legal matters.

BUT…

What we can’t do is file a marriage, filing jointly income tax return.  And, this is what burns my butt.

By myself, I will pay $12,260 in Federal Income Taxes in 2013.  My wife (who earns less than I do) will pay $2,978.  Together, that’s $15,238.  (This is based on the IRS Withholding Calculator.)  Using the same calculator, I calculated what we would owe if we could file as a married filing jointly couple and the amount is $13,901.  That’s $1,337 less than what we’re separately paying now.

I don’t think I’m receiving $1,337 in extra Federal Benefits, do you?  What am I getting for this money?  Why is MY marriage not recognize by the Federal government because a bunch of bigots didn’t want gay marriage nine years ago – and they won. (By cheating, the question was worded so that yes meant against gay marriage and no meant for gay marriage.  I can’t tell you the number of my friends who were happy it passed, because they couldn’t figure out the difference.)

In any case, we have a long way to go.

Conservative Hypocriscy

When the end of time comes and America falls, we can leave our failures at the feet of the stupid.  I really believe that.  The further along in time we go, the dumber the people of this nation get.  Right after the tragic shooting on Friday, the pro-gun morons (because, let’s face it, those people are morons) are throwing out statements calling for more guns in this country, not less.

Gun ownership is up in this country.  In fact, we own more guns then ever before.  Unfortunately, Mass Shootings are, also, up.  More mass shootings are happening every year as well.

The truth is that more guns owned will not make our country safer.

And, here’s something else:  we don’t just own more guns – we own more assault rifles.  WTF?  Why do we need assault rifles?  What’s wrong with limiting the number of rounds that can be held in a clip?

And, why is it that we ban gay marriage in our state constitutions, but we’ll accept other states’ concealed carry permits?  We want to regulate who can marry and who’s marriages can be recognized, but God forbid we recognize love between two same sex people.

And this is for the assholes who claim that God isn’t allowed in schools:  Kiss my fucking ass!  You people are more concerned with waving banners than protecting children.  Fuck you and your families.  I hope the next fucking asshole who decides “Hey, today’s a good day to kill people”  starts with Mike Huckabee, Ann Coulter, the fuckhead that runs the AFA and every fucker at the Westboro Baptist Church.

 

To My Gay Brothers and Sisters: God Loves YOU!

I realize that not all of you are Christian, but hear me out anyway.  I was praying the other day on my way into work.  (I do that.)  And, the following thoughts occurred to me.  God doesn’t make mistakes.  God loves me.  God made me who I am.

For a good portion of my life, I have struggled in my relationship with God and being gay.  Right-wing “Christians” will point to all sorts of passages in the Bible as proof that God hates gays.  Just last week, a right-wing co-worker proclaimed that if I am secure in being gay, it must be because Satan has been answering my prayers.  Satan – not God.

And, they wonder why we hate them.

Actually, I don’t hate my co-worker, I pity her.  And, her comment led to a very interesting discussion with my pastor (yes, I attend church – although, I admit that I miss some Sundays).  And, that conversation led to something I believe that God revealed to me while I was praying.  Ready?  Because I’m serious:

God loves us – every single one of us – and He wants us to be happy. On top of that, He wants us to have a relationship with Him and His Son. And – anyone who interferes with our relationship with God is not working for God and they are not taking orders from God – they are doing Satan’s work.

Think about that. I’ll wait. Read it again, if you must.  I’ll even repeat it – if someone interferes with your relationship with God, they are doing Satan’s work.

See, Satan wants our souls.  He has a deal with God.  He can tempt us and if we give in to him, he gets our soul.  BUT, we have to freely give Satan our soul.  I’ve never done that – have you?  Well, if you have, you can get it back, by asking for forgiveness from God.  But, that’s another topic.

See, Rev Phelps from the Westboro Baptist Church – you know, the “God Hates Fags” guy – He’s working for Satan.  NOM – the National Organization of Marriage people – Satanists.  American Family Associations – HUGE SATAN FOLLOWERS.  And, all these groups have something in common – they are very sad and we should pray for them.  They don’t realize that they are working for Satan.  They have been so overtaken by believing in themselves, by their destructive self-righteousness, that they have scales on their eyes.  These people are the modern day Sadducees and Pharisees – you know, those people who were so against Jesus in the Bible and tried to trick Him. They had an answer for everything.  And, they were wrong.

God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son so that all who believe in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16).

Don’t forget that.

I’m not saying that we aren’t sinners.  We are.  Everyone is a sinner.  But, we’re not sinners solely because we’re gay.  Should we try to live a righteous life?  Well, I can’t speak for you, but I try to do so.  Do I succeed?  Not always.

And, now a quote from Spencer Tracy: “Don’t let the bastards get you down.”  If you have a relationship with God, don’t hide it.  Live it, breathe it and pass it on.  If you don’t, don’t hide from Him.  He loves you and He wants a relationship with you.  Don’t run from Him.  And, don’t let the bastards get you down.  Don’t let the right-wing terrorists separate you from the love of God.  Living in His light is better than living in their darkness.

God Bless!

Gay Marriage Rights…

‎”Marriage is a tax shelter and a smart way for a couple to combine assets. Love is the thing that’s sacrosanct. The sooner we understand the difference, the sooner we’ll understand why Kim Kardashian’s wedding was never holy, and why countless gay couples around the United States who love each other despite marriage bans are truly righteous.” – Cord Jefferson

Pity the Anti-Gays

So, I posted on the video page about a comment I had read about on Huffington Post.  The whole thing was that the person making the comment didn’t like the gay agenda.  I questioned what that means, as of writing this, the author has not responded.  I stated my case that the gay “agenda” is no different than a straight agenda.  You can read the whole post here.

Here’s why I writing this post, someone commented calling themselves hiwaychristian and he or she compared being gay to the difference between liking onions and not liking carrots:

Why can’t you folks see the difference? If I prefer onions to carrots, I don’t go out and make it a political issue. Why is your sexual preference so crucial to your identity?

Well, there is a difference, as I wrote:

No one is going to fire you for hating carrots. No one is going to deny you the right to buy a home or rent an apartment, because you hate carrots. No one is going to say that your love of onions is unnatural and you don’t deserve your full rights as an American citizen.

(You can read the whole comment on the post, go ahead, I’ll wait.)

Then, the brave poster went on to mention God, which really has nothing to do with gays and lesbians civil rights.  We have separation of church and state, but apparently the only time anyone of them remembers that is when I mention Matthew 25.

Anyway, I wrote what I considered a logical and unemotional response.  Not that I really expected hiwaychristian to come back and read it, but apparently he (she?) did.

Did this person respond with logical arguments?

No, of course not.  I posted another response last night, but this morning, it dawned on me that it was a complete waste of time.  You can’t argue with an anti-gay.  They believe that they have God on their side – no matter how illogical that is.  Truth is that none of us can know what God wants or expects.  That said, I’m pretty sure Jesus meant it when he said to love thy neighbor and what you do for the least of you, you do for me.  However; I don’t think the anti-gays get that.  I don’t think they can comprehend anything that doesn’t fit into their little world of “love the sinner, hate the sin” and that denying equality doesn’t equate love.  (Jesus didn’t say love thy neighbor just a little, which would keep you and your neighbor on unequal terms, He said, “Love thy neighbor as you love yourself”, which means you’re equals.)  I honestly believe that if hiwaychristian realized that they’re just as much as a sinner as I am, their head would explode.

So, to my gay brothers and sisters, take my advice – just ignore them.  Yes, then they think they’ve won the argument, but let them.  They have so little in their lives.  They aren’t logical, they’re obviously not educated and they don’t realize that their hatred is both Biblically wrong and part of a dying breed.  We will gain our rights – slowly, but surely.  And, while we do, we must just pat these people on their tiny-brained heads and say, “settle down, partner.”

When we get down on our knees at night, we should include them in our prayers, as they need us to show them God’s mercy and we need to follow Christ’s teachings, and consider them equals.  Which reminds me of an Irish Blessing I’d like to pass along:

May those who love us, love us
And those that don’t love us,
May God turn their hearts;
And if He doesn’t turn their hearts
May He turn their ankles
So we’ll know them by their limping.

Peace.

Marcus Bachmann – Closeted Gay Man?

“Me thinks thee lady doth protest too much.”

Oh, Dear Lord in Heaven, have you seen this man walk?  Have you heard his whining, gay toned voice?  This is my own First Amendment protected opinion, but Marcus Bachmann is a closeted gay man.  It explains his absolute hatred and fear of gay people.  It would explain his pseudo-psychology practice where they try to “cure” gays.

The man is a flamer, as only a lesbian can identify.

Come on out, Mr. Bachmann.  We promise not to hurt you and we’ll protect you from your wife.

(I wonder if they married to hide him or her?  No, too scary a thought to have Michele Bachmann as a lesbian.  I shudder.)

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