Top Of My Head

Thoughts on everything from Politics to Video Games

Tag: Gay Marriage (page 1 of 2)

We were married!!!

Giving Cheryl her ring

Photo courtesy of “Loki” David Lott

On November 14th, just after 7PM, Cheryl and I did what thousands of couples before us have done – we were legally married.  We’ve been together for nearly 19 years and it has been an amazing ride.  We’ve gone through home ownership, trying to have children, having grandchildren and more.  Our journey isn’t ending, but this new beginning is, well, just something.

I honestly didn’t think that when I awoke on the morning of November 15th that I would feel any different.  After all, Cheryl and I had married in 2001 in a ceremony complete with gowns, unity candle and the breaking of the glass.  I have considered myself married for the last thirteen years.  How can a piece of paper make that much of a difference?

Lighting the Unity Candle on April 28, 2001 - our first wedding. (Look how young I was!)

April 28, 2001 – our first wedding.

Well, it does.  I feel closer to Cheryl, more involved, safer.  I know that my family would never be the kind that would toss her out on her ear if something would happen to me and I’m pretty sure her family wouldn’t do that to me,.  But, I’ve been kept out of her hospital room (not for long) and a nurse did tell me that I wasn’t Tommy’s grandmother, so I wouldn’t be able to be in his room.  No one will ever be able to tell me that again.

Cheryl’s daughter, Kim, has always treated me as a true step-parent.  She’s always respected our relationship and I’ve always treated her like a daughter. Dustin took a little time to warm up – accepting your wife’s family can be

Listening to Pastor Dana

overwhelming – but he’s always called my parents grandma and grandpa and he’s been a pall bearer for my family, I think more times than for his own.  His acceptance of Cheryl and I extended to his family.  Having all of them be a part of our wedding day was amazing.

The outpouring of love from friends and family was amazing.  Having our relationship be recognized by the state, as well as people close to us is an indescribable joy.  I can’t wait for the whole country to come to their senses and legalize gay marriage.

Our first official introduction as Julie and Cheryl Totsch

Photo courtesy of “Loki” David Lott

 

Marriage Equality

Going to the Chapel and we’re gonna get married…

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard that the Supreme Court refused to hear the appeal cases for Wisconsin, Oklahoma, Utah, Virginia and Indiana.  This means that marriage equality in those states have won.  Virginia has already changed their forms.

This morning at around 11:30, I called the Racine County Clerk’s Office and spoke with Pat. She very sweetly informed me that yes, they were issuing marriage licenses to gay couples.  I cried.

I’m really torn and stunned by this.  I’ve overjoyed that Cheryl and I can now make it legal, but I wish my mom was still here.

For a very long time, my mother was against gay marriage.  We went round and round.  Then, one day, I either explained it better or she just gave up the fight, because she agreed with me.  For the rest of her life, at least once a month, she would say to me, “Why don’t they just let you get married?”

Now, they are letting us get married and she’s not here to see it.  In the year and four months, since she’s been gone, I don’t think I’ve missed her more.

So, now, Cheryl and I have to pick a date.  I think we’ve narrowed it down to two.  🙂

 

Indiana’s Unconstitutional Anti-Gay Law

According to Indiana law, which will take affect next July 1st, breaks the separation of church and state in a manner that is shocking:

IC 31-11-11-5
Solemnization of marriage in violation of this article
 Sec. 5. A person who:
(1) is authorized to solemnize marriages by IC 31-11-6; and
(2) solemnizes a marriage in violation of this article;
commits a Class C infraction.
As added by P.L.1-1997, SEC.3.

In other words, if you are legally capable of performing marriages in the State of Indiana and you perform a gay marriage, you commit a Class C infraction (“A person who commits a Class C misdemeanor shall be imprisoned for a fixed term of not more than sixty (60) days; in addition, he may be fined not more than five hundred dollars.*“)  Really? And, two sections down, there’s this:

IC 31-11-11-7
Solemnization of marriage between persons prohibited from marrying
Sec. 7. A person who knowingly solemnizes a marriage of individuals who are prohibited from marrying by IC 31-11-1 commits a Class B misdemeanor.
As added by P.L.1-1997, SEC.3.

If you perform a gay marriage, you commit a Class B misdemeanor, which can result in 180 days in jail and a $1000 fine*. I’d like to mention that this is not only against the Constitution of the United States of America – it is, also, hypocritical. One of the right-wing arguments against gay marriage is that it is against their religion (which isn’t true).  But, if they believe in religious freedom, how can they possibly support a law that restricts religious freedom?

Oh, who am I kidding?  Anti-Gay people would give up their own freedom in order to harm gay people.  They’re truly crazy!

Gay Marriage: The Real Inequality

Last week, the US Supreme Court ruled that DOMA was unconstitutional.  That means that gay people in states that recognize or have gay marriage will have their marriages recognized.  This is good – for them.

For those of us who are gay, in non-legally recognized marriages and living in the wrong states, nothing has changed.  We still do not have the right to inheritance, hospital visitations and joint income tax returns.  It, also, means we don’t have the responsibilities and protections that marriage offers.

There are legal ways around this.  My wife and I have registered as Domestic Partners, so we have some of these rights.  And, prior to Domestic Partnerships being legal in my state, we had signed power of attorneys for health and legal matters.

BUT…

What we can’t do is file a marriage, filing jointly income tax return.  And, this is what burns my butt.

By myself, I will pay $12,260 in Federal Income Taxes in 2013.  My wife (who earns less than I do) will pay $2,978.  Together, that’s $15,238.  (This is based on the IRS Withholding Calculator.)  Using the same calculator, I calculated what we would owe if we could file as a married filing jointly couple and the amount is $13,901.  That’s $1,337 less than what we’re separately paying now.

I don’t think I’m receiving $1,337 in extra Federal Benefits, do you?  What am I getting for this money?  Why is MY marriage not recognize by the Federal government because a bunch of bigots didn’t want gay marriage nine years ago – and they won. (By cheating, the question was worded so that yes meant against gay marriage and no meant for gay marriage.  I can’t tell you the number of my friends who were happy it passed, because they couldn’t figure out the difference.)

In any case, we have a long way to go.

Conservative Hypocriscy

When the end of time comes and America falls, we can leave our failures at the feet of the stupid.  I really believe that.  The further along in time we go, the dumber the people of this nation get.  Right after the tragic shooting on Friday, the pro-gun morons (because, let’s face it, those people are morons) are throwing out statements calling for more guns in this country, not less.

Gun ownership is up in this country.  In fact, we own more guns then ever before.  Unfortunately, Mass Shootings are, also, up.  More mass shootings are happening every year as well.

The truth is that more guns owned will not make our country safer.

And, here’s something else:  we don’t just own more guns – we own more assault rifles.  WTF?  Why do we need assault rifles?  What’s wrong with limiting the number of rounds that can be held in a clip?

And, why is it that we ban gay marriage in our state constitutions, but we’ll accept other states’ concealed carry permits?  We want to regulate who can marry and who’s marriages can be recognized, but God forbid we recognize love between two same sex people.

And this is for the assholes who claim that God isn’t allowed in schools:  Kiss my fucking ass!  You people are more concerned with waving banners than protecting children.  Fuck you and your families.  I hope the next fucking asshole who decides “Hey, today’s a good day to kill people”  starts with Mike Huckabee, Ann Coulter, the fuckhead that runs the AFA and every fucker at the Westboro Baptist Church.

 

To My Gay Brothers and Sisters: God Loves YOU!

I realize that not all of you are Christian, but hear me out anyway.  I was praying the other day on my way into work.  (I do that.)  And, the following thoughts occurred to me.  God doesn’t make mistakes.  God loves me.  God made me who I am.

For a good portion of my life, I have struggled in my relationship with God and being gay.  Right-wing “Christians” will point to all sorts of passages in the Bible as proof that God hates gays.  Just last week, a right-wing co-worker proclaimed that if I am secure in being gay, it must be because Satan has been answering my prayers.  Satan – not God.

And, they wonder why we hate them.

Actually, I don’t hate my co-worker, I pity her.  And, her comment led to a very interesting discussion with my pastor (yes, I attend church – although, I admit that I miss some Sundays).  And, that conversation led to something I believe that God revealed to me while I was praying.  Ready?  Because I’m serious:

God loves us – every single one of us – and He wants us to be happy. On top of that, He wants us to have a relationship with Him and His Son. And – anyone who interferes with our relationship with God is not working for God and they are not taking orders from God – they are doing Satan’s work.

Think about that. I’ll wait. Read it again, if you must.  I’ll even repeat it – if someone interferes with your relationship with God, they are doing Satan’s work.

See, Satan wants our souls.  He has a deal with God.  He can tempt us and if we give in to him, he gets our soul.  BUT, we have to freely give Satan our soul.  I’ve never done that – have you?  Well, if you have, you can get it back, by asking for forgiveness from God.  But, that’s another topic.

See, Rev Phelps from the Westboro Baptist Church – you know, the “God Hates Fags” guy – He’s working for Satan.  NOM – the National Organization of Marriage people – Satanists.  American Family Associations – HUGE SATAN FOLLOWERS.  And, all these groups have something in common – they are very sad and we should pray for them.  They don’t realize that they are working for Satan.  They have been so overtaken by believing in themselves, by their destructive self-righteousness, that they have scales on their eyes.  These people are the modern day Sadducees and Pharisees – you know, those people who were so against Jesus in the Bible and tried to trick Him. They had an answer for everything.  And, they were wrong.

God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son so that all who believe in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16).

Don’t forget that.

I’m not saying that we aren’t sinners.  We are.  Everyone is a sinner.  But, we’re not sinners solely because we’re gay.  Should we try to live a righteous life?  Well, I can’t speak for you, but I try to do so.  Do I succeed?  Not always.

And, now a quote from Spencer Tracy: “Don’t let the bastards get you down.”  If you have a relationship with God, don’t hide it.  Live it, breathe it and pass it on.  If you don’t, don’t hide from Him.  He loves you and He wants a relationship with you.  Don’t run from Him.  And, don’t let the bastards get you down.  Don’t let the right-wing terrorists separate you from the love of God.  Living in His light is better than living in their darkness.

God Bless!

Gay Marriage Rights…

‎”Marriage is a tax shelter and a smart way for a couple to combine assets. Love is the thing that’s sacrosanct. The sooner we understand the difference, the sooner we’ll understand why Kim Kardashian’s wedding was never holy, and why countless gay couples around the United States who love each other despite marriage bans are truly righteous.” – Cord Jefferson

Anyone Seen a Ark Builder?

Throughout the years, right wing religious commentators have blamed everything from hurricanes to 9/11 on homosexuals.

In fact, Jerry Falwell appeared with Pat Robertson just two days after the the 9/11 attack and pretty much blamed everyone who is left of him and Robertson for 9/11.

I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way — all of them who have tried to secularize America — I point the finger in their face and say “you helped this happen.” – Jerry Falwell

Here’s a quote from Cindy Jacobs:

“According to Biblical principles, a marriage is between a man and a woman. So, we have to say what happens when a nation makes a decision that is against God’s principles. Often what happens is that nature itself will begin to talk to us, for instance violent storms, flooding.”

Now, I want you to know, that I’m not using the whole quote here – not yet. She’s actually going to help me make this point.

This morning, when I saw the news that North Dakota is next on the list for severe flooding, I started thinking about how these extremist like to blame gays and it made me wonder.  Why are we having all of the flooding that has hit the nation?  What in the world could be going on?  Is God mad at us?

According to Cindy Jacobs, the answer is yes.  To continue the quote from above, she says:

“There are actually some patterns you can see where a nation will make a decision that is contrary to the principles of God and after that there is some kind of answer that God gives.”

Based on her beliefs, God is most likely punishing us for something. Now, she thinks that God is punishing us for the removal of DADT, but I think she’s way off base. (She, also, was referring to the death of some birds.)

I think these right-wing Christian extremists are right. God has removed his protections from us. God has literally rained down upon us huge floods.  But, if you look at where he has chosen to take out his anger, you’ll see that he’s taking it out on the Red states.  The states who have declared a war on health care for all.  The states that have declared a war on marriage equality.

I thought, perhaps, we should look at what has happened to the states that banned gay marriage.  I’m finding that quite a few of them have had their answer from God.

Nevada passed an anti-gay amendment in 2002.  In 2003, “The Federal Emergency Management Agency has authorized firefighting funds to help Nevada fight the Red Rock fire that began July 10 in Washoe County northwest of Reno. The authorization is only the second granted to the state this year.”  They needed a lot of help in 2003.  Think God was mad at them for something?

Florida passed their anti-gay amendment in 2008.  In 2009, “Nearly 1,300 north Floridians have registered for federal-state disaster assistance following the storms and flooding of late-March through early May and there are still a few days left for others to do the same…Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) disaster assistance was approved for eligible homeowners, renters and businesses in the following counties: Calhoun, Dixie, Gilchrist, Hamilton, Holmes, Jackson, Lafayette, Leon, Levy, Liberty, Madison, Okaloosa, Santa Rosa, Suwannee, Wakulla, Walton, and Washington.”

I know what you’re thinking, but that’s no proof, Florida is always getting hit by storms and needing Federal Aid. There’s more.

In 2004; Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon and Utah banned marriage equality.

In 2005, Huricanne Katrina ripped through Mississippi, Arkansas, Georgia and caused millions of dollars of damage. A severe winter storm cause parts of Kentucky to be declared a disaster area by FEMA.

Also in 2005, 26 counties of Oklahoma were declared disaster areas because of the Texas-Oklahoma wildfires.

I think all of this just proves that God isn’t happy with these states for passing bans on marriage equality.  I don’t think He’s really into all the right-wingers.  Think about it.  He’s pulled his protection, but He’s aiming for states that lean the farthest to the right, not the left.

Glad I don’t live in a Red State.

 

 

 

Gay Marriage will lead to Anarchy

According to football great, David Tyree, gay marriage will lead to “anarchy”. Tell that to Iowa, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Vermont. All five states recognize marriage equality and I don’t see them falling under anarchy. To Tyree, fighting gay marriage is a way to honor his God. Fine, if you believe that gay marriage dishonors God, then don’t have one. I find marriage inequality dishonors our founding fathers, our constitution and our country. We pride ourselves on being a free society, yet we don’t recognize the basic human right to allow our citizens to marry another adult.

While I respect Tyree’s opinion and his right to broadcast it, I believe he’s wrong. He’s missed the point of marriage equality. It doesn’t take away anything from straight marriages – it just adds to the pot of stable, legally recognized couples. Further, if he wants to protect straight marriage, perhaps he should work toward outlawing divorce – that thing that has caused a huge decline in longlasting marriages.

Posted from WordPress for Android

Gay Rights and the GOP

I’m just going to lay this out for you:  If you are gay, you shouldn’t vote for a Republican.  Period.  End of story.

Yes, I know that you shouldn’t really be a one issue person, but gay rights and our fight for freedom is too high to put it into the hands of the Republican Candidates for President.

There are only two Candidates that do NOT support a gay marriage amendment – Herman Cain and Ron Paul – and neither of them has a chance of winning the general election.  A majority of Americans support gay marriage and the Republican Party is pandering to the extreme right of their party.

I don’t trust anyone of the Republican candidates on the issue of gay marriage.  I don’t want these people making what amounts to an important decision.  Although, I will admit that there is a part of me that thinks it won’t happen.  Afterall, Bush supported a anti-gay marriage amendment and it never came.  It’s a wedge issue and Republicans don’t like to give up their wedge issues.

On the other hand, I never thought the great state of Wisconsin could pass an anti-gay amendment and I was wrong.

So, let’s recap:  Gay = anti-Republican, at least until we have equal rights.

Older posts

© 2018 Top Of My Head

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑