Top Of My Head

Thoughts on everything from Politics to Video Games

Category: Gay Marriage (page 2 of 3)

Freedom To Marry

The National Organization for Marriage – NOM – is holding a huge fundraiser to prevent marriage equality in this great country of ours.  If you believe that marriage is between two people who are in love, please consider donating to Freedom to Marry.  I believe that this isn’t a tax deductible donation because they are a political organization, but any little bit you can give will help move our nation into the light of marriage equality.

You know, we all have a gay cousin…Wouldn’t you like to attend his or her legal marriage ceremony?  I know I would.  (But, in my family, I am the gay cousin.)

Killing Marriage

There’s an article on MSNBC that quotes a new survey about marriage.  According to the article, 4 in 10 people believe that marriage is becoming obsolete.  By my calculations, that works out to 40% of the people out there.

Ironic, isn’t it?

At a time when gay people are screaming for our rights to be married, 40% of straight people aren’t feeling the need to get married.  All of those anti-gay marriage groups keep proclaiming that you have to stop gay marriage in order to protect marriage.  I think they need to change their tune and their focus.

Instead of picking on the people who want to marry, they should start taking a good look at those people who don’t want or don’t feel the need to get married.  Maybe, they should hold Pro-marriage rallies for straight people and let them know the advantages of marriage.

And, there are plenty of advantages to be married, including inheritance rights, health care decision making and tax advantages.  Married couples – when the marriage works – offer a  stable environment for their families and friends.  Saving money on your taxes is a good thing, as well, so why wouldn’t straight people want to get married?

It makes no sense at all.

What does make sense is that the decline of the idea of marriage as an institution to which one would want to strive cannot be blamed on us gay people.

To straights every where:  Start working to save your marriages!

Taxes and More Taxes

The election is over and now it is time for the lame duck Congress to get back to work. But, even though it won’t do any good, I wanted to bring up taxes.

Everyone thinks – Warren Buffett the exception – that they pay too much in taxes. Because I have an extra taxable amount added to my normal salary this year, Cheryl and I have been paying a lot of attention to just how much we’ll owe in taxes come April 15th. By my calculations, between the two of us, we’ll owe a grand amount of $12,126, a tax rate of 13.40%. For a fun time, I thought, “Hey, what if we could file our federal income taxes jointly?” So, I used the IRS Withholding Calculator and did just that. If we were married, our tax amount would be $11,281, a tax rate. That is a tax rate of 12.47% and a total of $845 less. It makes me mad every time I think about it.

What is it that Cheryl and I receive from the federal government that is worth the extra $845? Do we have extra rights? Extra protections? Will the government take care of us when we’re old and gray in a better manner than a straight, married couple?

No, no and – I know you’re shocked – no.

We receive NOTHING for the extra dollars removed from our paychecks every single year. And, if Paul Ryan gets his way, it will only get worse. (Check out Paul Ryan’s Roadmap for America and you’ll see his plan for two tax tiers.)

By denying gay couples the legal right to marry at the Federal level, the nation is over-taxing approximately 770,000 couples in this country.  Let’s make a big assumption, because I don’t have actual figures on incomes, that our over-taxed amount is what every other gay couple pays more than straight couples.  That works out to an extra $650,650,000 in the nation’s tax coffers.

Do we get a thanks for that?

No, we don’t.

Maybe, that’s the real reason why the right-wing doesn’t want us to get married.  That’s a lot of dough!

As a gay person, I purpose that in the next election, we come together to fight for our marriage rights.  We fight for equality.  We’re paying a lot of money to be considered second class citizens.

Who’s with me?

Below is a video I made last August.

The Constitution and Gay Marriage

I don’t understand how anyone can claim that gay marriage is against the Constitution.  I really do not understand.  The 14th Amendment clearly states: “No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” (emphasis mine)

Whether you like gay people or not.  Whether you agree with gay marriage or not.  The 14th Amendment clearly states that we are to all be treated equally.  The ability to marry in this country isn’t a right, it is a privilege.  Being able to file taxes together, make medical decisions for each other, inherit from each other and make legal decisions for each other is a privilege.  If all couples are not treated equally under the law, then there shouldn’t be legal marriages.  Period.

What makes my brother, Brian’s, marriage to Tara better than my marriage to Cheryl?  Why should they be allowed to file taxes together?  Or, inherit from each other?

Case in point – and something I’ve discussed with my brother – if one of my siblings proceeds our parents in death (God forbid), their heirs (i.e., wife and children) inherit a third of my parents’ estate.  However; if I proceed my parents in death (again, God forbid), Cheryl gets nothing.  Because the state refuses to acknowledge our relationship legally and morally, Cheryl is not considered an heir of my parents.

Is that fair?  Is it just?  Is it right?

No, no and no.

Do my parents consider Cheryl less of a daughter-in-law than Robyn and Tara?

Again, no.

But, legally, there’s nothing to protect her.  Granted, my parents could make a provision in their will, my brothers could split my parents’ estate with her or whatever.  That really is beside the point.  They shouldn’t have to do anything.  She should be my legal heir via a marriage license – just as Robyn and Tara are Scott and Brian’s legal heirs.

Anything less is unconstitutional.

Woman finds out about Husband’s double life

On the day after a Federal judge struck down California’s Prop 8 (which bans gay marriage), news comes out about a wife discovering that her husband had married another woman.  I wonder if that will lead to divorce or if the right wing, anti-gay groups will still claim that gay marriage is bad for straight marriages?

Breaking News: Federal Judge strikes down Prop. 8

Yes, Virginia – there are good judges who rule based on the actual Constitution of the United States and not based on some outdated idea.

Read the story here.

I’m sure the wrong wing will be out in force claiming that this was an activist judge ruling from the bench.  Apparently, these people have never actually read the Constitution.

Women become lesbians because they can’t get men

That is what Elizabeth Hasselbeck said yesterday on the View.  She isn’t alone in suggesting this, as Barbara Walters briefly suggested something similar on the View (You can find it on YouTube about 3 minute in) back on March 27, 2009.  She said, “Maybe it is easier for two women to find a relationship than to find a man.”  The statement was practically ignored by her co-hosts.  But, understandably, she is Barbara Walters, it’s her show and who is going to call her on it.

I will give Barbara a pass on this, as she does come from a different generation and she didn’t say, “Older men are going for younger women, leaving the older women with no one”, which I found completely offensive.  In her defense, she didn’t actually say these late blooming lesbians couldn’t get a man, she just mentioned that the men are looking elsewhere.

Still, I couldn’t help myself and I posted a new video making fun of Elizabeth’s little slip.  You can view it here.

Use the AFA to support gay rights!

The AFA (Amercian Family Association) is at it again. Their hatred for gays and lesbians is beyond belief. They’re calling for their followers to send emails via a form they provide. So, I used their form to send the following email and I encourage all of my readers to do the same:


Dear Mr. Bell and NBC:


Your decision to recognize homosexual “weddings” as akin to that between one man and one woman is an absolute brilliant idea and one that is very much appreciated!

Please count me as one who will always consider watching NBC’s “Today” show and I applaud your attempt to engineer the social acceptance of political correctness.

Click here to go to their site and bring up the form.  Don’t forget to change the actual letter.  I stuck pretty close to the AFA’s original text  so the changes would be hard to notice.

Get a Backbone

I have been an out lesbian for over twenty years. I have marched, attended rallies, written blogs and lived my life with the idea that I can’t expect to get my Constitutional rights while hiding in a closet. I’m out to my family, friends and co-workers. Being out hasn’t always been all wine and roses, either. I’ve been harassed, fired and insulted because I am a lesbian. My life now is pretty well set, but there are still those on the fringes of my life who would rather I go away or, at least, pretend I’m not gay to make things easier on them.
But, I’m not going to live a lie just to make life a little easier or make someone else happy. I don’t think that anyone should. If you’re against gay marriage, then I think you should put signs in your yard and participate openly in the political process. I know your beliefs are wrong and misguided, but if you believe it, then you shouldn’t hide it. Be proud of your narrow straightness!

Yell it from the mountain tops! Man up!

Apparently, one of the groups that helped scare the state of California into voting for Proposition 8 – the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) – doesn’t agree with me. They think that their supporters and donors should have a right to privacy. They shouldn’t have to provide their donor lists to state election officials.
“But, Julie, why would they feel this way? What could they possibly have to hide?” I hear you asking.
Glad you brought it up – I have an answer.
They’re scared. They’re scared that their donors might be harassed for their beliefs. They filed a lawsuit which went right up to the US Supreme Court – Doe v. Reed – to protect the privacy of their followers.
(I went to their site to see what they wrote about the case, but I couldn’t find one word about it. I searched the case name, looked through their archives – nothing. I thought that was odd and I only mention it to see if any of you, my gentle readers, can find anything.)
“So, Julie, what happened with the suit?” I hear you ask.
Well, I’ll tell you – they lost and they lost big: 8-1. Surprised? No? Well, I am – a little.
Anthony Scalia, a man with whom I usually disagree, wrote:

“There are laws against threats and intimidation; and harsh criticism, short of unlawful action, is a price our people have traditionally been willing to pay for self governance. Requiring people to stand up in public for their political acts fosters civic courage, without which democracy is doomed. For my part, I do not look forward to a society which…campaigns anonymously…and even exercises the direct democracy of initiative and referendum hidden from public scrutiny and protected from the accountability of criticism. This does not resemble the Home of the Brave.”

In other words, get a backbone.
I never mind when someone disagrees with me, but when someone places an anonymous comment knocking me (someone once called me lazy, fat and white trash) it really gets me. It’s not the comment that bothers me. I’ve been called worse before and I’m sure in the future, I’ll be called worse again. It’s the anonymous part. They’ll sit behind the Anonymous title and spout things about me that aren’t true and they don’t even have enough guts to stand up and say, “My name is Robert Smith and I think you’re a bitch.”

And, for me, it’s the same for the anti-gay crowd. If you want to say, “I don’t think you and Cheryl should be allowed to get married,” that’s fine. You have a First Amendment right to say it and believe it, but if you don’t have the guts to stand up and say, “My name is Robert Smith and I don’t think you and Cheryl should be allowed to get married” then I think you should keep your mouth shut. I have a lot more respect for someone who speaks their mind in public. I think if you give money to any organization that runs ads in support of one candidate or another; you should have to have your name on a list given over to state or federal election officials.
If you believe in a cause – any cause – enough to give money to it, you should believe in it enough to stand up and be counted or stand up and defend it. You shouldn’t coward in a corner.
To add to Justice Scalia’s comments, America is no place for cowards. We are the Home of the Brave and not the Home of the Chickens.
One final thought, I know on this blog, you have to have a Blogger or Google Account to not post Anonymous, but nothing says you can’t put your name in your post.
If you can’t say it to my face, you shouldn’t say it behind my back.
Man up, NOM!

Well, people, this is it. Tomorrow is the BIG DAY!!! After 13 1/2 years of being together that includes 8 years of being a married couple in the eyes of God, family and friends, Cheryl and I will be getting domesticated! I’m not sure what to call it. Anyway, domestic partnership here we come. At 1:30 tomorrow afternoon, we will be at the Courthouse with my parents and two of our friends – Jerri and Preston – and we’ll be signing the papers.

Yep, after all this time together, Cheryl is finally going to domesticate me. I guess this means that I’ll be housebroken! LOL!

Seriously, it reinforces our love and commitment to each other, it gives us some legal protections and it helps us to stand up and be counted in the number of domesticated gay relationships.

Now, I called the courthouse on Friday and it turns out that there is a five day waiting period, so we’ll have to go back to register the paperwork. Five day waiting period? She’s had 13 years to change her mind and she’s still here, whats another five days?

God Bless

I was going to post a picture from our wedding day, but I can’t find it and my scanner is no longer functioning, so here’s a picture of us from a few years ago.

Isn’t Cheryl the prettiest gal around?

Older posts Newer posts

© 2019 Top Of My Head

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑